Peanut Butter and Milk

To everyone else this is nothing but a peanut butter sandwich and a glass of milk in front of a computer . To me it's a routine , a routine that started sometime around grade eight or nine . A routine that woke my dad every night . 

A routine thats stuck with me over the years . Why? Well because I'd get hungry around two or three o -clock  in the morning . Which I never gave much thought. Heck I barely gave the sandwich and milk any thought . 

That is until one day when my Dad decided to point out that it's because it's quick and easy.And doesnt wake people up. Most of the time .You see my dad was a light sleeper , throw in some insomnia , which my sister and I have inherited .(Clearly I'm writing this at three thirty in the morning.)and well of course any russling would wake you.

So why am I sitting here writing about Peanut butter sandwiches and midnight snacks . Well because greif and loss are weird .Like I said earlier this is a normal routine for me . Get up at a rediculous hour and make a sandwich.Enjoy it with milk and go back to bed. Well tonight my regular routine made me cry. Not because the milk was spoiled or because of lack of sleep .But because My thirty year old self would not have  been or went downstairs and proceeded to make a peanut butter sandwich with milk in the middle of  a  pandemic if it wasn't for my dad . Had I been any other human in this world I wouldn't be me . And I am me because of my dad .Not that my mom didnt play a part or teach me anything .My mom taught me lots  but that's for another day .My dad taught me how to catch a ball , and ride a bike . We'd go on bike rides regularly He also brought my babies for bike rides . Actually one of my last memories of him is driving by and watching him patiently wait for my youngest to catch up on their bike ride .I played baseball because of him. I knew and fell in love with  all of my sports because of my dad . I understand baseball ,Hockey and vaguely get Basketball because he loved his sports.I am the biggest Geek ever and proud to be one because my dad loved Doctor Who and Star Wars CSI , Batman .

I have names for all of his shirts.I was his sous chef.No ones aloud in the kitchen when dads cooking .Not even if he works for you .Except me ,sometimes my sister but she was more social . So anyway if it was a holiday dinner , you could almost gaurantee I'd be there early and ready to cook....Or at least chop something up .

My dad and I went to College together ,bet you didn't know that . If  our lunch was the same , which was like once a week .We'd have lunch together ,he was the only human besides my teachers and Alex that talked to me .

He loved just getting up and going to do things .Hikes he loved hikes , and bike rides .We went on vacation once .It included going to the Toronto Zoo and the CN tower and probably a bunch more things .My childhood is a blurry mess of memories smooshed together .We went to the water park as kids . I dont remember much , my sister says a lady gave us an all day tube for free because she was leaving . 

He loved the movie Stand by me and honestly writing this all I  can hear is Gordie Lachance's  voice reading it as I'm typing . (Richard Dreyfuss)

And with that I think I'm done .